dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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