I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
