how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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