Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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