i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
