i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
