what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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