the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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