i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Found the puke drawer
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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