Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
