Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
