id be glad to
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
