i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
