Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
