We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
