Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
