OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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