Me too!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
