All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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