It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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