i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
