i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
