hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
