If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
