I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You're like the curious george of whores
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
