I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
