You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
