I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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