You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
