Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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