wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
