It's just like the Real World with babies
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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