No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
