your thong is hanging out like whoa
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
