yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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