And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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