I cannot find my penis.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
