There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
