would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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