love makes seman taste better
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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