Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
you never un-have a 4some
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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