I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
