I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
