Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
