i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
