do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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