the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
