I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
