i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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