Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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