Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
