Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
