I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
