i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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