Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
