Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
