Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it was like eating out sand paper
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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