i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
