somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
