At least make sure they are 18
Why
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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