I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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