talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
