turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
