Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
