yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
